Hidden Desires
by consulting-slytherdor
Summary: After the war, Harry and Severus have managed to become friends. Will either of them take the risk to take their relationship to the next level?


**Hidden Desires **

Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape

Rating: NC-17/Mature Word Count: ~4000 Summary: After the war, Harry and Severus have managed to become friends. Will either of them take the risk to take their relationship to the next level? Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. A/N: Ignores the events of HBP. Unbeta-ed.

Harry was getting ready to go to his usual meeting with Severus.

It was two years after the war had ended, two years since Harry had defeated Voldemort with the assistance of various Order members, chief among them Death Eater spy Severus Snape.

In Harry's Sixth year, he had put his hatred for Snape aside. One Friday evening Harry had approached the Head of Slytherin in his dungeon office toward the end of the man's office hours to apologize for his actions the year before and to see if the Potions Master was willing to put aside his animosity for Harry.

Severus had agreed and they had been able to become friends. In a way, Severus had been a closer to friend to Harry than Ron and Hermione were that year.

Hermione and Ron had been caught up in each other, their growing attraction and how they should act around the other, making Harry feel a bit like a third wheel when he was around them. Severus had many shared experiences with Harry; their atrocious childhoods, the ostracism they had faced at school. Severus also appealed to Harry's Slytherin side; sometimes the weekends would find the two of them in Severus' quarters, discussing any subject that came to mind. Harry would find himself making the occasional sarcastic comment. Unlike Hermione and Ron, who would look disapproving and slightly lost, respectively, when he did this in Severus' presence the man would simply smirk and either drawl his signature, "Indeed" or contribute his own snarky comment.

This new dimension to their relationship had allowed Harry to be trained much more effectively by Snape. It was through their efforts that the key to Voldemort's downfall was discovered. With Severus by his side, Harry had rid the Wizarding world of the scourge of Voldemort, the Darkest wizard in history.

After Harry had fulfilled his destiny and finished school, earning a respectful amount of NEWTs, he had gone against the public's expectations of the Savior, namely joining the Auror core, and instead he started his own restaurant and worked as a chef. He hired people to take care of the customer side of the business, and he spent his days creating edible masterpieces.

He had been introduced to cooking at 4 Privet Drive by his Aunt, but despite this negative start, Harry had found that he enjoyed cooking and surprising people with his creations.

When the war had ended, the final battle won, Severus had been exonerated for all of his crimes as a Death Eater and awarded the Oder of Merlin, First Class with Harry for his efforts to help the Light win the war.

Now that his life was his own again, Severus had finally been able to decide for himself what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Dumbledore was still Headmaster at Hogwarts, and he reassured Severus that if he should still want it, he had a position at Hogwarts.

Severus knew that as a certified Potions Master he had his pick of where he wanted to work, from the Ministry to St. Mungo's, or even his own Potions shop, but he knew that Hogwarts would always be home to him so at Albus' obvious excitement (Severus still claimed that his vision was affected by the 'celebratory robes' that Albus had donned for the party in the summer to welcome the staff back to school for the first post-war school year), he returned to the magnificent castle. Though he had coveted the Defence position as a young man, Severus was now more than content to resume his post as the Potions professor.

There had been a brief period after Harry had graduated when they did not see each other, Harry busy with setting up his restaurant and Severus getting used to being back at Hogwarts with more freedom than he' d had since he'd been a student there himself.

However, Harry found that he missed Severus' comforting presence, along with his sarcasm and wicked humor, and Severus realized that he missed Harry's exuberance and constant chattering. Via owl, they agreed to meet at a specified time and place, at first only once a week but as more time passed they increased the number of meetings and now, two years later, they met once on Wednesday and again on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Wednesdays and Fridays they chose some public place to meet, strolling through Hogsmeade, going to Muggle cinemas and cafes, one memorable time they even visited an amusement park on a Friday evening after Severus' last class had finished. On Saturdays and Sundays, Harry would leave his restaurant in Diagon Alley and venture to Severus' quarters in Hogwarts.

On these days, Harry would bring whatever paperwork he had to do for his business to work on while Severus graded the student's essays. They spent an hour on Saturday, and occasionally a Sunday, in companionable silence, steadily working through the pile of parchment stacked next to them.

After they finished, the work would be put away, the fire lit in the grate and a tumbler of Firewhiskey, scotch or brandy for each of them while they caught up on each other's lives and ate the food Harry brought for Severus from his restaurant.

This routine continued, unchanged, for the first year after the war. About three months after the first anniversary of the final battle however, Harry realized that he had a growing attraction to his best friend.

Harry had realized he was gay in his Fifth year, after that disastrous date with Cho Chang, but he didn't have any practical experience as of yet. Some hopeful witches that had dreams of being chosen by the Wizarding world's Chosen One might say that Harry couldn't know he was gay without to be with a guy, but Harry knew it wasn't necessary. He had been too concerned with more important things during the war to be concerned with what his sexual preferences were, but he was sure now that he preferred to be with a man more than a woman in a romantic sense.

Severus had been the first man that he had really been attracted to, not just sexually but Harry was also drawn to Severus' personality and an 'I could spend the rest of my life with this person' kind of attraction.

Harry didn't want to ruin their friendship, the relationship that Harry valued the most in his life, even above Hermione and Ron's friendship. Part of the decision to hide this new dimension to his feelings for Severus had also originated from his fear that along with the rejection that would surely come if Harry tried to act on his newfound feelings, Severus would feel so much disgust for him that he would' t want anything to do with Harry anymore. Convinced that this would be his reception should Severus ever find out his secret, Harry kept his feelings hidden, willing to accept that he would only ever have Severus' friendship.

'_Besides,'_ Harry thought to himself, _'why would he want me when he can have anyone he wants. He's a war hero, a scholar, and a lot of people like that "Tall, dark, bad boy" thing. I don't know if he's even gay. For all I know, his type could be tall, blonde women not short, scrawny, bespectacled boys with messy hair and a lightning bolt scar in the middle of his forehead.'_

Unbeknownst to Harry, Severus was going through the same thing. He had noticed his attraction to the Wizarding world's hero some time before Harry had realized his feelings for the Potions master were more than platonic. As soon as he identified the feelings that he was having, he knew that he would never reveal them to Harry. He satisfied himself with the portion of time that he got to spend with Harry on Wednesdays and during weekends, and he did not want to do anything to jeopardize that. He had already lost one of his closest friends due to his own stupidity when he'd been a teenager. He wasn't going to do the same thing again, especially since Harry was much more important to him than Lily had ever been.

'_No use dwelling,'_ Severus thought glumly, _'it's not like he'll ever accept his greasy Potions master's romantic feelings for him. He's the Savior, he could have any witch he wants, and even if he was gay, he'd probably want some lithe, tan young Quidditch player, someone beautiful like himself. No, I'll just take what I can get: his close friendship and frequent visits.'_

Luckily for Severus and Harry, they would soon get what they both wanted: knowing they had the love of the other.

Harry was getting ready to have his mid-week outing with Severus. He was running a few minutes late after the rush that the restaurant had been swamped with shortly before closing. Just as he was finishing up the last of his tasks before he could head out, the door opened and Severus walked in.

The man was dressed in Muggle attire, black trousers and dress shirt under a black coat. Harry was also dressed as a Muggle, though not as formally. The nineteen year old had on a pair of dark jeans and a button down.

"I thought that I should meet you here if you were running late so you didn't have to take time to Apparate to Hogsmeade just so we could leave again. I presume we are still going to dinner?"

Harry reassured him that that was the plan, to which Severus commented, "I do feel badly that you cook all day in your own restaurant and now in your free time we are going to eat at another restaurant."

Harry told him, "Don't worry about it. I actually enjoy going out to other restaurants where I don't have to do the cooking," he switched topics, "I believe it's Italian tonight, right?"

Having Harry's reassurance, Severus confirmed that they were indeed going out for Italian that evening.

"Okay," Harry announced, "I'll be ready to go as soon as I get all this stuff put away." As he said this, Harry gestured to the pile of books and paper sitting on the table behind him.

"Let me help you with that," Severus offered, following as Harry moved over to the work that was still out.

"Oh, you don't have to," Harry protested.

"Don't worry," Severus smiled, "I want to."

Harry had looked up when Severus started talking again, and he was still a bit dazed by witnessing Severus smile like that, the smile that he reserved for only Harry. Harry had seen Severus' smile numerous times over the years in the ma's quarters, had even heard his laugh, but each time he still cherished the gift that was Severus' smile.

"Okay, thanks," Harry smiled back.

When Harry moved to grab the papers in front of him, Severus leaned over to grab the books on the far side and they brushed one another.

Harry practically leapt back, but Severus was much slower to withdraw and when he stepped back Harry witnessed a flash of what might be hurt or regret cross his face before his expression cleared.

After a moment to consider his next move, Harry took a step closer to Severus and put his hand on Severus's right arm "Is this okay?"

Instead of giving a verbal response, Severus took a chance and leaned forward to press their lips together. As soon as Severus did this and they realized that they _both _wanted this, wanted each other, it was as if they lost all of their inhibitions.

They moved so they were not hindered by the table and were able to move into each other's arms. The kiss deepened then, moving from a press of closed lips into open mouths and merging tongues. Their hands got involved too, exploring new territory, roving over faces, chests, and backs.

Before they could get too far to stop, they pulled apart a bit so they were in a loose embrace. "We need to get to the restaurant so we don't lose our reservation," Severus panted.

"Where are we going tonight?"

"We are going to Locanda Locatelli in London, and we need to be there in ten minutes."

As much as Harry wanted to argue that with Apparation they had plenty of time to keep snogging before they had to leave, he knew that they should get to the restaurant.

"Fine. As long as we can pick _this_," here he leaned up for one last kiss, "up after we finish dinner."

"There's nothing I want to do more than be with you in this way." He backed this declaration up with another kiss before taking hold of Harry's hand and Apparating to an alley near the restaurant.

When they were seated with menus and waters, Harry turned to Severus and asked of him, "I know what I want from this," he waved a hand to encompass both of them, "but what do you want?"

Severus, following the instincts he had honed as a spy, asked Harry to explain what it was that he wanted from him, with him.

"I want there to be more than just friendship between us. You're already the most important person in my life so that won't change, but I want to share more with you than I already do: waking up together in the mornings, seeing you every day, spending every night together. I want us to be together so every day I can grow to love you even more than I already do now."

Before Severus could tell Harry that he wanted all those things too, that he wanted to share everything and that Harry's love was returned, they were interrupted by their waitress arriving at their table.

"Can I get you started with something to drink? Our featured wines are listed on this menu here," she handed Severus the menu though it seemed she had wanted to hand it to Harry just for an excuse to touch him. Severus' voice seemed to break her concentration and she stopped staring at Harry to look at Severus.

"We'll have this one," he told her, indicating an expensive red wine.

"Okay. And will you have antipasti this evening?"

"We'll take the Insalata autunnale."

She left them to bring the wine and autumn salad while Harry and Severus looked over the menu.

"I don't like her," Harry leaned over to whisper to Severus.

"Just don't think about it," Harry felt Severus' breath on his ear, making him shiver.

"I think that will be _very_ easy," Harry responded.

Harry brushed a hand over Severus' and moved over a little so they weren't actually touching each other.

They had already decided what they were going to order; Harry was getting the Linguine all' astice and Severus the Strozzapreti al pomodoro, n'duja, olive nere e ricotta, and then they were going to share.

After the waitress, Casey, had poured them each a glass of wine and put down their salad, she took their dinner order and left them with the bottle of wine.

They were in a secluded part of the restaurant so they had privacy to behave how they wanted without the other patrons watching them.

Harry and Severus started on their salad, Severus occasionally feeding Harry a bite and Harry repaying the favor.

They had already been friends before they got together so they already knew all about the other's professions, hobbies, and likes and dislikes. Out of a desire to avoid uncomfortable small talk about weather, something they had never had to do, they chose to talk about things they had to deal with in their daily professional lives, like the depressing quality of Severus' students' essays and their general incompetence and Harry's situation involving gossiping wait staff.

They discussed these trivialities until they finished the salad. When the main courses were brought out, they moved on to the more personal subject of their budding romantic relationship.

"We both already had the correct kind of emotional attachment to each other that were involved in a relationship, albeit an attachment that we both hid from each other. I suppose the only difference between now and before is that now we'll have to get used to expressing those emotions openly between us, and the physical aspect, such as intimate touches."

"They say practice makes perfect," Harry grinned cheekily. With that he moved over and kissed Severus.

The kiss was meant to be fleeting given their surroundings, but then Severus' hand moved to twine through Harry's hair and cup his head.

When he did this, the kiss turned more heated and before they knew it, Harry's mouth was opening and Severus' tongue slid in to touch Harry's.

They broke apart when they hear Casey gasp. When they glanced over, she had a carafe of water to refill their glasses. She caught herself just in time to save the water from dropping but she hurried away before reaching their table.

Harry and Severus exchanged one last kiss, a whispered "I love you", which prompted another kiss, and silently vowed to not have any more public displays of affection.

They finished their pastas without any more kisses or too many unnecessary touches. When Casey returned to take their plated and ask if they wanted any desert, they decided to order a tiramisu so they could prolong their first **official** date.

They shared the desert too, but any conversation they had while eating it was filled with laughter and smiles. 

Soon it was time for them to leave and after the bill was paid, something that Severus insisted on doing, they departed from the restaurant and made their way back to the alley they had used for Apparation.

Unlike their previous Apparation, the return journey involved more contact. Whereas before Severus only took hold of Harry's hand to bring them into Muggle London, this time Severus moved to stand behind Harry so he could wrap his arms around Harry. With a kiss to the back of his neck, the couple disappeared with a CRACK. 

They reappeared in Harry's flat- he was living above his restaurant in Diagon Alley- so they wouldn't have to walk from Hogwarts gates all the way to Severus' quarters in the dungeons.

They had gotten all of the necessary discussion out of the way at the restaurant so when they landed in Harry's living room; they went straight to making love.

After they separated from the embrace were in, Severus stepped towards Harry and bent his head to kiss him. He pulled back after a few moments and started to undo the buttons on Harry's shirt. After a moment of hesitation-Severus was halfway down Harry's shirt by then- Harry lifted his hands and started to take care of the buttons on Severus' shirt.

When both of their shirts had fallen to the floor, Severus attacked Harry's belt. He dropped to one knee to take off Harry's shoes, along with his own, and stood back up to pull down Harry's trousers and pants.

Harry stepped out of the pile and Harry finally stood naked before Severus.

Harry finished removing the last of Severus' clothes and they moved from the front room to Harry's bedroom.

Severus only had time to see the wardrobe in the corner and the King-sized bed that took up most of the space in the room before he was guided to lie back on the bed and Harry was kneeling above him.

He let Harry take charge for the moment, allowing the teen to explore his body.

He started at the top of Severus' body; kissing his forehead, eyelids, the tip of his nose, both of his cheeks, before placing their lips together. They kissed briefly and then Harry continued on his path down Severus' body, sucking on an earlobe, licking parches on his neck and then treating the other earlobe to the same treatment.

By the time he reached Severus' lower half, Harry had discovered that taking Severus' nipples into his mouth and pulling gently caused Severus to arch up and that he, Harry, loved the feeling of Severus' muscles quivering beneath his mouth as he kissed his way down the man's stomach and dipped his tongue into Severus' navel.

Finally, his face was level with Severus' erection. He suckled the head into his mouth but lifted up after a moment to make his way back up Severus' body. A peck on his lips and then Harry was lying on his back next to Severus.

Severus took this as a signal to begin his exploration of the beautiful body next to him. He had wanted this, wanted Harry to choose him, for so long that he didn't want to mess this, their first time, up. He leaned over Harry to kiss him and then he followed the same trail down Harry's body that Harry had used for his body. When he reached Harry's cock, however, he didn't leave after one brief touch.

He licked at the head and then took in as much of the length as he could, until the tip was touching the back of his throat. He bobbed his head up and down, giving his jaw a break occasionally by moving further down to mouth at Harry's balls.

It didn't take long for Harry to explode and Severus swallowed down every drop of hid love's seed.

While Harry was still languid from his climax, Severus cast a spell to summon the lubricant. Thankfully a jar flew in from the bathroom; Severus didn't want to have to use a spell for Harry's first time.

When his finger was sufficiently slick, Severus gently pushed Harry's legs back, spreading him open so he could easily access his entrance.

Harry lifted his head up when he felt Severus' fingertip brush his entrance and looked at Severus. When he had worked his finger past the ring of muscle, Severus wiggled it around a bit to loosen he passage, pulling a moan from Harry. He added another finger, and then another before he deemed Harry satisfactory stretched.

Severus removed his fingers and coated his cock with the lube. He positioned himself at Harry's hole and he leaned down to kiss Harry, who responded enthusiastically, while he pushed in. When he was buried to the hilt, he pulled almost completely out and, resisting his desire to slam back in, slowly pushed back in.

Harry accepted Severus' cautious thrusts for some time before he finally said something. "Severus," he called to his lover, "I'm not going to break you know. You don't have to be so gentle. I want to feel you. I want to see you lose that careful control."

Severus moaned at Harry's words and, acquiescing to Harry's request, he began to pull out until only the head remained and then he slammed back in. Their kisses changed after Harry's request, turning more passionate and using a lot more tongue.

Severus' climax was just before Harry's second orgasm of the night. Severus pulled out of Harry and moved to lie beside him. Harry turned on his side to face him and moved to kiss him. Severus received him gladly and they kissed for quite a while. Before they started anything more, they curled up under the covers to take a nap before another round, Severus spooning Harry.

"I love you," Harry murmured.

"And I love you," Severus responded, kissing Harry's shoulder. "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow we can plan the rest of our life together."

**FIN**


End file.
